So, where, you might ask, do I feel the need to improve? I'm an author - I write a lot. I'm a mom and a wife and a teacher - I talk a lot. I am a FB junkie - I comment a lot. You'd think I'd have the whole communication thing down. Not. Particularly with my family.
Keith and I are listening to a series on communication. I've realized a few things. For instance, I am a hint dropper. Hint dropper, you might ask? Let me give you a scenario. I walk into the kitchen. I stare into the sink. I stare at my daughter Katherine. I stare back into the sink and put my hands on my hips. I give one more withering look to Katherine. Seems pretty straight forward to me. I see dirty dishes in the sink, Katherine is in charge of the kitchen, I want her to clean up the mess. According to this series, I did not communicate effectively. Wow.
I guess that leads me to ask the question, What is effective? I mean, she understands the look and scurries over to the sink and does the dishes. Seems effective to me.
Let me give you another scenario. I walk into the kitchen and announce - there are two coats in the kitchen. Once again, seems obvious to me. I want the owners of the coats to hang them up or at least get them out of my way. Once again, it is effective in that the coats get out of my way.
Apparently, not everyone gets the hints, especially husbands that have not grown up with the best hint dropper of them all (hi mom!). So, according to this series, we should practice something called content communication. This means that what I say is what I mean - no matter what my tone of voice or no matter how I gesture. So, if I announce that there are 2 coats in my kitchen, the appropriate response could be - yes, there are 2 coats in there. Does this smack of smart a&& to anyone else?
Keith and I have decided to try content communication for a week and see how it goes. We often get upset with one another over tone of voice or over a hint that didn't go over well. This is supposed to solve that problem.
How am I doing, you ask? Please, I'm doing great! (Oh, sarcasm doesn't work well online, nor is it allowed in content communication....sorry). I'm failing miserably. And that's the truth.
1 comment:
She is doing great. As you can see that she is catching on to her habits. As usual, she is being modest. Another condition of content communication is living only by what is said . It means I am learning to ignore the aspect of communication that comes by interpreting body language, sighs, tone of voice. These can be interpreted very incorrectly or ignored. It also means to only expect others to respond on the basis of what I said. It has called to my attention my need to avoid sarcasm, something I do so often.--K.
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